As women, our days can be a whirlwind of activity. We juggle work, family, errands and everything in between, leaving us exhausted. The evenings can be our time to pause, reflect and reconnect with ourselves. At such times, our circle of sisters can offer a comfy blanket, reminding us that even as we explore our inner landscapes, we are not alone. With it, the roller coaster of life is much easier to ride.
Let’s understand the science behind sisterhood, uncover its fundamental role in achieving true success, and delve into some practical steps to cultivate healthy, supportive sisterhoods in our own lives.
Evolution and sisterhood
In the days of early humans, predators, scarce resources and harsh environments were the norm. Decisions were driven by the instinct for survival, which was about fight, flight or freeze, fueled by emotions like anger, fear or anxiety. Any cooperation would have been based on survival needs.
Then came the big upgrade, the cortical brain which brought complex thinking, planning and communication allowing us to move beyond basic instincts. As the human brain developed and the human race progressed, there came greater challenges. It wasn't just about survival anymore, it was about thriving together. This is where the seeds of sisterhood were sown.
Evolutionary psychology paints a compelling picture of how social support positively impacts our ability to manage emotions by fostering a sense of interdependence. Researchers even argue that the leaps in human intelligence wouldn't have been possible without this social dimension.
Social brain hypothesis
Evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar's social brain hypothesis proposes a direct link between increased brain size and the complexity of social groups.
At its core, Dunbar's theory proposes that the cognitive limitations of the human brain restrict the number of stable social relationships we can maintain. He highlights the importance of smaller, close knit communities for deeper connections and advanced support, and suggests limiting meaningful social relationships to 150. Reciprocal Altruism proposed by another evolutionary psychologist Robert Trivers suggests that human cooperation evolved because helping others increases the likelihood of receiving help in return.
Shared experiences and positive emotions
Neuroscience bolsters this view through the concept of Mirror Neurons. It says that the brain cells fire not only when we perform an action, but also when we observe others doing it, suggesting that shared experiences can wire our brains for more positive emotions.
Decades of research converge on a central theme. Humans have a deeply ingrained need for meaningful social connections and sisterhood fulfills this need by offering support, belonging and a shared sense of identity.
Sisterhood for Success
Society often equates success with external measures like wealth or fame.
We know, however, that these are just the motivators, and true and lasting success resides in the depths of our fulfillment and purpose. So, how can sisterhood contribute to these?
While all kinds of sisterhoods offer support and connection, the specific focus and benefits can vary. I define the following three types encompassing a wide range of experiences.
Sisterhood of passion - A photography club, book club, sports team, a music circle, or volunteer organization; these are just a few examples of ‘sisterhood of passion’.
Here, you'll find camaraderie and a sense of belonging amongst like-minded individuals.
You'll learn and grow together, fueled by your shared passion. However, this type of sisterhood may not address broader personal or professional needs that lie outside the core focus of such groups.
Sisterhood of well wishers - Friends, cheering you on from the sidelines, or family, believing in your dreams and offering unwavering encouragement, that's the essence of the sisterhood of well wishers. They provide a warm circle of emotional support, a safe space to share anxieties and a constant boost to your morale.
However, they might not have the tools to navigate complex challenges with you, or offer concrete guidance and structured accountability.
Sisterhood of action - a group providing laser-focused support and accountability to achieve specific goals.They offer targeted advice, help you develop relevant skills and provide the nudge you need to push towards your objectives. Think coaching circles, mentorship programs or even therapists. While they may offer emotional support, it's often mixed with action oriented guidance and feedback.
Remember, the beauty of sisterhood lies in its diversity and inclusivity. There is a place for everyone, introverts and extroverts alike.
How do you cultivate Sisterhood for Success?
Be an active listener - This is the cornerstone of any strong sisterhood, offer your ears and your heart without judgment. Listen deeply to your sister's joys and struggles, validating their experiences with empathy and understand that this fosters a welcoming environment where everyone feels seen, heard and supported.
Celebrate and encourage - Celebrating your sister's achievements no matter how big or small is a powerful motivational tool. A heartfelt cheer for an accomplishment or simply offering a listening ear during a difficult time, these simple gestures contribute significantly to the feeling of belonging and support within the sisterhood.
Share your authentic self - Don't be afraid to share your own struggles and triumphs by sharing your authentic self. You invite others to do the same, creating a deeper level of understanding and trust.
So, are you ready to weave your own beautiful tapestry of sisterhood and unlock the power it holds to create a more fulfilling and successful you? Embrace its warmth, harness its strength, and together, let's rewrite the success story, one meaningful connection at a time.
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